Determined to be Queen shares...
Change, as we all know, is inevitable. Sometimes we avoid it. Sometimes we wonder when it will happen again. Sometimes we just live every moment like that's all there is and we never have to stop and label what we're doing as change. We just DO it.
Blogging sometimes feels like labelling changes. Changes in perception. Changes in activities. Changes in relationships. Changes inside what feels like my soul.
I say "feels like" because, of course, the Soul is constant. I'm not so sure we can "grow" the soul at all really. Instead, I think what happens when we grow spiritually is that we allow more of our soul to show...or flow...through us.
The more we resist our soul's true nature, the more miserable we are: in body, mind, and spirit. We block the Source of our Being with our negative attitudes; our addictive or abusive behaviors; our daily intake of empty calories, and various other substances we could probably live without; heck, even with gossipping, telling white lies, or driving aggressively. You name it—we are experts at blocking the Love.
As amazing as the human organism is, or can be if we allow it to be, the Soul is much more amazing. And truly, how we treat our Soul—whether we block it's light and love, or whether we allow those things to flow unhindered—reflects through our bodies, our personalities, and everything else that we can call a part of the Self.
So the Self is really just an expression of the Soul—the Divine Inspiration within us.
I bring this up today because I've been blocking the light and love of my Soul in certain areas. We all do this to some extent. (Obviously, otherwise we'd be angels and archangels or some such radiant Being, I imagine!) We're all great at one area of personal development and usually at the expense of another area. I'll use myself as an example.
Lately I've been expressing my creativitity and I've been exercising my body and feeding it much better than I had previously (i.e. no fast food whatsoever), I've made lots of new friends, AND, I even quit smoking—that awful, awfully-mean-to-myself habit. Sounds great in writing, right? Absolutely. What that brings to light, however, are the other areas that need to come along for the joy ride.
I'll let you in on a little secret. Most of my blogs are peppy and positive, right? To the point that some of you might start thinking either, "Man, she's got it goin' on!" -OR- "Does this woman EVER have a problem?" Well why would I write about the tough stuff? It's much more satisfying to write of the triumph of overcoming the tough stuff. Why wallow around in the muddy parts in writing?
I started thinking it may not seem realistic to have all the happy, happy, joy, joy blogs with none of the major challenges. Plus, the major challenges ganged up on me once I started having so much fun. (But that's an entirely different story.)
So here's the secret. When I'm not writing, I'm dealing with challenges. See how much empty space there is on my blog lately? Uh-huh. Challenges, thank you very much. And I say challenges now because I know better. It's all part of the changes that happen incessantly in a life being lived. What I'm still working on, a little bit, (ok, a lot), is a quicker recognition of the positive value of the challenges that really go for my gusto, if you know what I mean!
We all have those special little issues that seem to lay us out flat faster than we can say, "Halleluiah," right? I call them sticking points. You know, those things that seem to happen just when you think you've got it all under control (uh-oh! time for a lesson in letting go and letting God!). It's like emotional fly paper and you just struggle and struggle and you never can seem to get free of it, right?
Of course we all have those things, or maybe just that one thing, that throw us for a loop and remind us we are human, fallible, imperfect....well, you get the idea.
But maybe you don't have that feeling any more because you're an expert at "letting go and letting God." I salute you my friend. I would really like to choose the path of peace for myself too, but as of yet, I keep choosing the fly paper from time to time!
BUT. There's always a but. You know that!
Make no mistake. It's a choice. One of my greatest friends has reminded me for the past ten years that happiness is a choice, and I seem to have short-term memory loss in that part of my brain. And I'll tell ya, sometimes, when I am in the throes of my self-loathing and my Eeyore mentality, I really kinda resent hearing that it's a choice. (Yes, yes, all you Tom Cruise haters out there, sometimes medication is necessary, but mostly we make ourselves sick.) I just want to blame it on anything but me. Don't you? Sometimes it's way too tough to admit responsibility for my own happiness or lack thereof. Like it or not, though, it's true. I always have the choice.
So sometimes when I feel all cranky like that, I allow myself a day of sulking and say, "Tomorrow, after you rest, you'll pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get going!" It really helps to give myself permission to sulk, but to put a time limit on it. And really, sometimes it is really just resting. We live in a way-too-busy world, and sometimes we just need a break. I imagine Patrick Swayze as "Johnny" sticking up for me to that smarmy, slave-driving, rich-kid boss, saying, "She's taking a break Neil. She needs a BREAK!" That makes me feel a little better right away actually.
So hey, if you're like me and the holidays are as depressing as they are joyful and you feel like you don't know which way is up, imagine Patrick Swayze telling your family and friends that you need a break and then TAKE one. A REAL break. And give yourself a time limit. It might only be a two hour nap. It might be a two-week vacation. Listen to your heart. It knows what you need. And struggling through with a fake grin on your face is just another way that you block the true love and light that is always in your soul, waiting for you to let it flow.
When we are in alignment with our spirit, our soul, everything else takes care of itself. Are you ready for something to change? Are you ready to choose light and love? To choose happiness and peace?
Once you do*, you'll always have enough Self to share with others.
Happy Holidays Y'all!
Love, Nicole
*Warning: This is not a one-time choice. It is recurring. Daily is a good start, but, more often, it's moment to moment. The choice is always yours and there are always choices! :)
© Nicole J. Williams, 2007, all rights reserved.
