Something Wonderful Happens... When I Say YES to Myself

Testing...1-2-3...


Did you hear me?

Really. Something wonderful happens!

Like what you ask? You want specifics? Well, let's see...

About a month ago, you may remember, I told myself, "YES, you may now take classes that are just for your own personal enjoyment."

The next day I quit smoking.

Just like that.

Wow, right?

I also went from being a stay-at-home-do-nothing-all-day-pick-up-my-kids-cart-them-around-then-do-more-nothing kind of a woman to a...

are you ready for this?

...get up, get ready, drop kids at school, go to class, eat homemade lunches, pick up the kids, run errands with them, cook dinner, go out to dance class etc., go to bed by midnight, get up and start all over again kind of woman. I even get up and do stuff on both of the weekend days now too!

I take three different dance classes, two art classes, a Saturday morning golf class, and a phys-ed class with cardio and machine weight workouts. This former smoker can now run a whole mile (on the treadmill) without breathing hard, and, ok, so I'm still pretty wimpy on the weight machines, but I am more toned already and I've only gotten to use them four times so far!

Can you say, "Halleluiah"?

Amen Brothers and Sisters!

So yeah...really...something PLUM WONDERFUL happens when I say YES to myself! :)

But the key here is that these are things that I have wanted to do, but have avoided doing. Please don't think I'm saying that YOU have to start working out or pursuing your creativity for wonderful things to happen. (Although, I have to say, those are pretty great things to try if they are on your "list"!!!)

You can do anything that starts with allowing yourself to do some of the things you've thought about but then said, "Pish-posh, that's silly. I ________________ !"(Insert appropriate phrase here: am too old, am too busy, am too serious, am too just-about-anything really; or the "nots"—am not talented enough, am not tall enough, am not smart enough.)

That's the secret—no more naysaying yourself! The desires of your heart whisper in your mind and you immediately tell them flat out, "What are you? Nuts or something?" And so you plod along until someone says with a sparkle in her eye, "When's the last time you felt joy? BLISS? Perfectly wild and utter abandon?" And you think, "Gee, I don't know."

It's not "idealistic" and it's not "Pollyanna" to plan for joy in your life. It's the difference between existing and truly LIVING! And if you haven't watched Pollyanna in a while, I highly recommend it! You'll remember that it's so so so much easier to smile and give of yourself than it is to frown and hide. And you'll remember how sorry you felt for all the "crabby" folks in the movie, and how you were sure you'd never be like them. (Ok, perhaps I'm projecting. But still...it's a great movie!)

And so that's it. Joy enters when fear (or denial, or judgment) walks out. So many times we don't realize that we're afraid to live. We're holding our breath. Biding our time. Waiting in the wings. Hanging by a thread. Balancing on a wire.

So breathe.
Go now.
NOW!
Let go.
Jump!

The most wonderful thing you could ever do for yourself is to give yourself permission to live the life that whispers to you. That still, quiet voice knows what you want and what will make you feel joy...what will make you feel alive...what will create a life of bliss.

Now if you just read that last part and you heard, "Yeah, right. She sounds like an airy fairy. Doesn't she know life isn't a bowl of cherries? Sometimes it's the pits!!!" Well then, my friend, you need to do something wonderful for yourself. Say YES to your guiding voice and say NO! to that censor that keeps you from "mov[ing] in the direction of your dreams."

Say YES to yourself!

Hold your prism up to the light.

Let it shine!

© Nicole J. Williams, 2007, all rights reserved.

Something Miraculous

Determined to be Queen shares...

Wow! Where does the time go? I think I’m starting to understand what “time flies when you’re having fun” means! Now, if you know me in person, you might be scratching your head right now.

Huh? She’s been having “fun” this past week?

Without going into all the gory details, I can tell you that it’s been a most challenging set of days since my last post. Complete with fits of anger, tears, and long phone calls to dear hearts who understand the real me. But I can honestly say it’s been a FABULOUS week! Why? Because I asked for this.

So to speak.

I want answers, after all. Big answers. To big questions about myself and where I want my life to go. And in order to get answers, you have to open up your heart to any possibility of a reply. I think a lot of times, we say we want answers, but then we try to dictate how we would like that memo to read.

For instance, I wanted to know why I was still having problems in my love relationship. The same spots kept sticking no matter how much grease I gave them. I asked, “What’s wrong?” But then I sat around stewing and expecting him to figure out how wrong he was and how I was doing all the work (after all, I kept offering him suggestions!). I wanted the Universe to teach him a lesson so that I could have what I wanted in a relationship. I mean, it was mostly his fault. If he’d just listen to me, everything would be fine, right?

(On the animal scale of learner’s aptitude, I would probably top out at “mule” level.)

So last week, as part of a spiritual exploration course I am taking, I had to write affirmations. The idea behind an affirmation is that we stop the cycle of abuse raging loudly, or quietly, in our minds by giving that voice a new script—one that acknowledges peace and happiness are just one choice, one decision, away. It’s really all in how we decide things are. Essentially, nothing is good or bad until we make that judgment for ourselves.

Appropriately then, one of my affirmations is: “I am happily married.” I wanted to make this choice because I felt like these recurring issues have been the biggest stumbling block on the path of my personal achievement. How could I have a career if my relationship kept knocking the wind out of me?

Well, this past week, with this new decision in the script of my mind, I had a life-altering moment of epiphany—with a capital “E”. I mean…it was HUGE! I finally wrapped my mind around the idea that what I dislike in my partner is what I dislike in myself. (I know, I know, the three-finger rule all over again!) Of course, I had thought I understood that, but, let’s put it this way, apparently I only understood it when it was easy! But this?! This was sooooooo hard!

But also fantastically healing!

This memo about my still being stuck in the blame game, about being selfish even when I thought I wasn’t, about addictively hanging on to trouble to avoid change, this memo was not the answer I wanted to hear. Like I said, I was hoping that the heavens would open up and my husband would miraculously accommodate me and my idea of “the way things should be.” But that’s what is so great about miracles—they come unexpectedly.

But maybe that’s not entirely true. No, it’s not true at all. In fact, the only time miracles happen is when they are expected. Think of the stories of Jesus’ miracles. About the woman who was healed, just by touching the edge of his cloak. Why? Because she believed. That’s another way of saying expected. She knew—she had faith—that if she could just touch it, she’d be healed.

My husband and I talked about miracles and how they always seem to be a function of the believer. Think about those televised evangelist shows where people are instantly healed (if you haven’t actually seen a faith healing in person, that is). Those people believe they will be healed and they step forward to receive their miracle. Think about all the people who find out that their cancer has “miraculously” disappeared. They believe they can survive it. Think about Jesus’ own words on almost every occasion of a miracle: “Do you believe?”*

Well...do you?

Whatever you truly believe you have, is yours.

And I finally get it! I really understand!

How about you?

Try it this week. Choose. Decide. Have the peace that passes all understanding. It’s yours.


© Nicole J. Williams, 2007, all rights reserved.

*Jesus said to the woman who touched his cloak: "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering." (Mark 5:24-34)